Baby Bounce Basics: some babies bounce, my baby sleeps

Today I mustered up the courage to take Julian on an outing to the mall. I needed a little exercise and we both needed a new environment. We ventured to the mall and they just so happened to have a baby class happening in the mall library. Of course, we decided to join in.

I first noticed all of the strollers parked outside the library. Is this ok? I felt a little exposed just leaving my stroller and babies goodies out in the hallway of the mall, but it seemed like it was the thing to do. Silly mommy didn't bring a purse or diaper bag inside and so I just left everything in the basket under the stroller and covered it up. Then I parked my stroller alongside the other 25 strollers and picked up my sweet boy to go inside.

Sweet little boy had a nice surprise for me in his diaper though...and on his onesie...and in the carseat. I thought it probably wasn't good manners to bring my poopy pants boy into the library, so we loaded back up in the stroller and found the nearest bathroom. We cleaned ourselves up (for the most part) and headed back to the library.

Just then my sweetness remembered he was hungry. Never fear...super-mommy had the bottle ready to go and I carried my little bugger and his bottle into the library where songs had already begun and a woman was handing out scarves and egg-shakers. Hmmm...where is my third arm when I need it?

Baby boy and I sat in the back row and started our bottle. It started getting pretty loud with the music playing, mommies singing, and kids yelling. It didn't seem to bother my baby at all. He just sucked down his bottle and then fell right asleep. It just didn't seem right to wake him up so I just sat there and took a mental note of all the songs so I could try to learn them all for the next week. I was surprised that we weren't the youngest there. There were several babies that looked about Julian's age or younger. In fact, there was one 3 week old there. I made sure to tell that mommy "way to go!".

Even though my little bug didn't participate the same way the others did, I felt like it was a success. We got out of the house. We dealt with everything that came our way. And I had a good time. Even though Julian slept for the most part, he was so laid back and enjoyed his experience. Maybe he'll even stay awake next time! So proud of this boy!

Sing a song of.....how's that go again???

I love to sing. Mostly in my car and in the shower...but I love to sing. I've always dreamed of all the great songs I'd be able to sing to Julian from Christian songs that are rich with Biblical truths to Broadway showtunes to popular radio hits. But now that he's here, when it comes time to sing a lullaby my mind goes BLANK!! What is going on??? I sit down in the rocker to soothe my baby to sleep and the only songs that come to mind are soooo strange like "On the Good Ship Lollipop" and "The Ants Go Marching". What's the deal? Has anyone else experienced this wierd phenomenon?

Dear Julian...

Dear Julian,
Today you are 6 weeks and 1 day old. You are such a sweet boy and mommy loves you. I am completely shocked at how time has flown by since you were born. I can't believe how big you are already and how you change each and every day. I love how you make such good eye contact with me and I love the way your little lips look when you smile. I love how you make little ooo's and ahh's and grunts to talk to me. I am so proud of all your accomplishments. You have a strong neck and you make great efforts to hold your head up all the time. When I lay you on your tummy you can turn your head from side to side and lift your neck up. You are so social. When we talk to you, you turn your head and look at our faces. You even look back and forth between two people who are talking. For the last few weeks, you've been pretty fussy in the evenings, but I can tell you are starting to grow out of that. Last night you only fussed for about an hour and were soothed by sucking, shushing, swaying, swaddling, and being on your side. I'm always thankful when we find things that can soothe you. You really enjoy being outside. Someday you'll have to tell me why. Is it because of the heat? Or do you like the noises the cicadas make? Or do you just like looking up at the sky and at the trees? Soon it will be cooler and I'll let you stay outside longer, I promise. You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to your daddy and me and we are so thankful and blessed that God has allowed us to bring you into this world and raise you. You are our little angel baby.

Love,
Mommy

Our Birth Story

On June 4th, the very next day after my last posting, my water began leaking. At first I wasn't certain if that's what it was but as it continued throughout the day I became more confident that was what was happening. We waited and waited for contractions to come and nothing at all was happening. We decided not to call the doctor yet, as we didn't want to be "on the clock". Hospitals will tell you that you have to have a baby within 18-24 hours of your water breaking. So we kept waiting. We went on walks in our neighborhood, walked stairs, experimented with acupressure and nipple stimulation with the pump. Still I felt nothing except an occasional gush of water. We went to bed that night feeling a bit nervous, but we prayed about it and felt a peace about staying at home.

The next morning at 9 am when contractions still hadn't started I called the on-call doctor to see what she thought. Of course she wanted me to come in right away even though she thought I had just started leaking that morning. I still didn't want to go in to the hospital and decided to go get professional acupressure and a massage done instead. When I left the acupressure session, I had a missed call from the on-call doctor urging me to call her. When I did, she kept reinforcing the risk of infection and the need to "get labor going". She knew I wanted to go natural and said there were other options besides pitocin. I was still not happy about the options she gave me as I knew they would potentially have the same effect as pitocin. I asked about naturally inducing with a foley-catheter but she didn't agree to it due to the "infection risk"....I know I'm not a doctor, but wouldn't the risk be the same as the other options which also involved sticking things inside me?? Anyway, I kept waiting and we got all the bags ready to go and my family and Ross basically had to push me out the door at 4 pm (20 hours since my water began leaking).

Once at the hospital, they put me in a "temporary room" which became my "permanent room" as soon as they determined my water had indeed broken. So, there I was...at the hospital and not happy about it at all. Still no contractions and I already felt pressured and controlled by nurses and doctors. The doctors decided I needed to be induced and I was given the option of a cervical gel called prepodil which is supposed to stimulate contractions and ripen the cervix. It was promptly inserted and I was told I would have to lay in bed for 2 hours with fetal monitors strapped on. Within an hour, small contractions began. So little I could barely feel them but I could see them on the monitoring screen. 2 hours passed and I was dying to get out of the bed and get moving, however the nurse informed us that Julian's heart rate was dropping every time I had a contraction. We asked if we could try sitting up to alter the position and see if that helped. She said that would only make things worse and made me stay on the bed longer. Every time the nurse came back to check on me we pleaded our case to be able to sit up right next to the bed while still strapped to the monitors. We just really felt that they needed to let us at least TRY something else besides laying there uncomfortably on the bed. Finally, she agreed, but made sure we knew it was not going to help anything. So we got a birth ball and got me set up next to the bed where all my attachments could still reach the machines. An hour later, lo and behold, Julian's heartrate was doing just fine with each contraction! The nurse commented that we were right about trying the new position and that baby liked it! Hooray, now we were given the go ahead to get off of the continuous monitors and walk around as we please.

Ross and I began walking the halls and timing the contractions. They would sneak up on me slowly and I would feel tightening in my lower back. At the peak of the contraction I was pretty uncomfortable but then it would start to subside and I could walk and talk and laugh again. This went on for a few hours. Contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Around 10 pm, my friend Jenny showed up to help us. At first, I thought she was there too early and that she would get bored....but things really started picking up then. My contractions were getting stronger and my moaning was getting louder. I was no longer able to walk during the contractions as they would stop me in my tracks and I had to hold on to the rails on the wall or lean back against the wall. But once it subsided I could walk and talk again. Contractions were about 3 minutes apart.

At some point, I went back into the room...I don't remember why probably to go to the bathroom or something but that's when things started getting ugly. I had to get hooked up to fluids which made it difficult to get around. Going to the bathroom was a 2 person job. I needed someone to hold the bag of fluid out of my way while I got my pants on and off. And at this point, contractions were coming faster and when they would catch me in a less than optimal position such as sitting on the toilet I was in major pain. I was doing my best to try to find positions that would relieve any of the pain.

There was a rail in the bathroom that I found to be a good height for me to hold onto while squatting. Then I got the bed in a position where I could get on my knees and lean forward. It also helped to hold onto Ross's shoulders like we were dancing (kind of) and have him hold me up while Jenny massaged my lower back. This was ultimately the best position. But after several contractions in each of these positions I was needing something different.

Thus begins the hydrotherapy phase. I got in the shower and Ross sprayed hot water on my lower back. It felt wonderful. I am still in the worst pain of my life, but it did provide some relief as I was crying and starting to feel like I couldn't continue any longer. Contractions were 1 minute apart and lasting 1 minute.

When the hydrotherapy wasn't helping any more we decided to change positions but before we could find another one another contraction came and then another and another. I am not clothed at this point...having been in the shower just prior. Somehow my pants were missing too. And then I ended up on the floor. Things are starting to get hazy now. I am now in a different reality. And what do you know, it was time for another "check". yippee. Everyone thought I had to be getting close to transition. Even the nurse had the delivery table out and ready to go. But everyone's faces dropped to the ground when we found out I was only at 6cm dilated. Each contraction was bringing me to the ground in pain and there was hardly any time in between to rest. I had been laboring for about 14 hours and it was probably 9 am or so (remember I got to the hospital at 4 pm the evening prior).

I'll try to zip thru the next 10 hours...
Drugs were given...epidural was given...I was able to rest for awhile...and finally after 6 more hours, it was time to push!

After about a half hour, the nurse informed me that she has seen someone push for 4 hours before and not to worry about how long it was taking. Haha, little did she know that her shift would end before I ever delivered. Julian took 4 hours to make his way all the way down. Seriously, every contraction he would move millimeters if even that. And just when I thought I couldn't take it any longer, out he came. All the pain I was in just melted away as they put him in my arms. He was slimy and purply-colored. His face was red and blotchy and his skin was so wrinkly, but nonetheless, perfect. His little lips were curled up and his cry sounded like "hoo-aa, hoo-aa". The sweetest noise I had ever heard. Soon after being placed on my chest, he found his thumb and stopped crying. Absolutely precious. The whole hospital experience still haunts us, and even though we didn't have the drug-free birth that we had hoped for, we feel like having a vaginal delivery was a success. And certainly our ultimate goal was a healthy boy, so we were so blessed. Julian was a trooper and did so great the whole labor and delivery!

Julian Ross Barry-born on June 6th at 8:18pm, 7 lbs 10 oz, 20 1/2 inches long, sweet, cuddly, new, precious, wonderful. Praise the Lord!

The 40-week update

Here I am, 40 weeks pregnant and still waiting for our little guy. I have to say the past 9 months have flown by! About a week ago people started asking me more increasingly, "Now when is your due date again?" and sending me emails and texts asking "Have you had the baby yet?" So far, I'm ok with all that and I know everyone is just excited for us and to meet the baby. It's not going to change the fact that no matter what I know his due date is June 5th and have that day looming over my head. It's crazy how I just assumed for some reason all throughout pregnancy that I would have him early and maybe even miss the last week of school. But that day has come and gone and here I am.

Although I know that cervix dilation is really a non-predictive measure, I still eagerly jump up on the doctor's table each week to hear what, if any, changes have taken place since the week prior. As of this Wednesday I was still about 1 cm dilated...which like I said, really means nothing as some women can linger at 3 cm for weeks and some women go from 1 to 10 within hours. My cervix is approximately 50% thinned out and baby Julian's head is engaged in my pelvis. It's crazy to think that my doctor has been able to touch his head!

I still have not had any true labor contractions and to date no lower back pain. In the evenings it seems I am feeling more pressure down there and Braxton Hicks contractions come more frequently. For that reason, every evening lately I've been thinking...tonight could be the night! And I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up having true labor contractions...but every morning I wake up feeling normal and another day pursues.

Ross and I are extremely excited. We've read our Bradley workbook, packed our bags, and gone over a plethora of different scenarios of what we think it might be like when it really does happen. We like acting out different birthing positions and coming up with hypothetical texts that we can send to people announcing that we're in labor. We're silly like that.

There is a lot of uncertainty about WHEN baby will arrive, but other than that, I feel ready. Not that I feel like I'm equipped to be the perfect mom or that I'll even know how to do anything "right". But what I do know is that I'm well supported by friends, family, and most of all my loving husband and that is one fact that I know with all my heart. Ross has been the ultimate husband to me and already has shown how awesome of a daddy he is going to be. I have grown even more and more in love with Ross over the past 9+ months. It's amazing how this pregnancy has brought out even more shining qualities in him when he was already so wonderful.

Enough for now...I have to get ready for a date with my hubby.

Faith like a Child

How often have we been told to have the faith of a child...always trusting the Lord and taking Him at His word? And doesn't the Bible tell us "Don't be anxious about anything, but pray about everything. Tell him your needs and thank Him for what he's done"? And still I find myself being tenderly reminded by God on a daily basis what this actually looks and sounds like. That's right...the Lord has placed a special student in my class to ever so gently show me certain areas in myself that need some work. This student is eager to be open about his faith, full of compassion, quick to pray in times of trouble, and never ungrateful or forgetful of the things God has given us. Before each mealtime and snacktime, he never fails to thank God for providing us with our food. When another student gets hurt or becomes upset, this little guy is always first on the scene to extend a prayer of healing and comfort. Just the other day, in one of my not so graceful moments, I backed into a tiny guy, knocking him over and into a wall, before he even had a chance to squeal, the prayerful child immediately petitioned to the Lord to make the fallen child feel better. I am so encouraged by this little guy's fervant faith and I thank God for His creative ways of teaching me lessons.

The power of the spoken word

In Ross's and my family we believe in the power of the spoken word and therefore try as much as possible to always speak positively about ourselves, one another, and our current situation. I try to incorporate this value into my classroom as well by speaking many positive statements over my students. Each student has unique qualities that God has put inside of them and I believe it's my job to help them shine. Often children with learning differences experience so much negativity throughout their lives, even if it's not intentional. Academics, language, social situations, and even sports can be hard for them. In my class, I always like to remind the kids that they are special the way they are and then highlight the things they are good at. Last week we read the book "I Like Me" by Nancy Carlson. It's about a little pig that loves being herself. She loves her curly tail, her round tummy, and her tiny feet. When the world tries to bring her down, she picks herself up and when something is hard for her she tries and tries again. This little piggy is the image of high self-esteem. Last week, we talked all about what makes each of us unique from our looks (eye color, hair color, height)to the things we like to do (drawing, building, playing sports) and we talked about liking ourselves for who we are. I was encouraged yesterday, when I read a quote on facebook from a student of mine from last year. He said to his mom, "I love you Mommy, and I love me because my body is awesome!" Way to go, G, you speak it!